2009年11月07日 [長年日記]
_ [book]《書評》強欲上等!! 〜 再読・愛は毒か 毒が愛か
初読時に書いたメモはこちら
4062142805
どこに落とし穴が潜んでいるかわからない、落とし穴がないということのない人生を生き抜く中で、しっかりと自分の足で人生を生き、「幸せ」であるためにどうあるべきか。著者の高山真さんは
ハードな人生に、真に必要なのは、「時には方向転換してもいい。でも私は私の決断で、自分の人生を生きていく」という "プライド" だと思うの
と書いています。
さてここで「幸せ」と書きましたが、ここでいう幸せは、いわゆる世間一般でいわれる幸せではなく、あくまで「自分にとっての幸せ」のことです。自分がどうしたいか、自分にとって何が幸せか。タイトルにある「強欲上等」は、本のオビにあった言葉です(気に入りました)。自分で考え、自分にとっての幸せを追求することが「強欲」という言葉につながってくる
流されずに、自分の意志で歩き続けることはしんどいことではある。人に言われるままに生きる方が楽かもしれない。でも、その楽さと引き替えに失ってしまう物は大きいかもしれない
こういう風に書くと、自分の幸せを追求するためにはとにかく自分だけが大事、他人はどうでもいいと受け取られるかもしれないけど、決してそうではないはず。他人を貶めたところで、自分は幸福になれない。
自分が属している世界にも、属していない世界にも"正解"がある
のだから、他人の正解に思いをいたしつつ、自分の幸せを考えなくてはならない
この本から自分が得た「自分の人生を生き抜くためのヒント」は
- 自分たちが生きていく中で「○○は**であらねばならぬ」という言葉にたくさん出会うけど、その言葉に違和感を覚えたとしても、「自分に見える風景は他人とは違うらしい」と怖じ気づく必要はない。
- 「自分が何をどう考えているか」ということにクリアでいる
- 「自分のしていることは何か」をわきまえる
- 「自分のしたいこと」によって起こった結果はいいことでも悪いことでも、きちんと自分で引き受ける
- 自分のしていることが結果的に浅ましいことだったとしても、その浅ましさをきちんとわかった上で行動する
- 自分がしたいことは、他人にされても受け入れる
など。そして特に印象に残ったのが
自分の価値は自分で決めましょう。自分を一番認めることができるのも、自分にいちばんの苦言を呈することができるのも、自分自身
という言葉。そしてもう一つ、この本には高山真さんとマツコ・デラックスさんの対談が収録されていて、その中でのマツコ・デラックスさんの言葉
自分自身の孤独とちゃんと向き合っていれば、少しぐらい他人におかしなことされたり、言われたりしても、簡単には傷つかない
自分が得たヒントは、すべて自分自身と向かい合っていく中で見つけるべきもの。自分ときちんと向き合い、自分を知ることで、必要以上に他人や状況に振り回されることもなくなるはず
人のことが気になりすぎて振り回されてしまうことが多く、そんなことが続く中で「自分に自信がないと、結局何をしてもうまくいかない」と思い至ったわたしにとっては、どちらも心に刻みたい言葉です
ゲイである著者が女性向けに書いたこの本は、男性よりも女性から圧倒的な共感を得ると思うけど、男性が読んでも共感できる部分はあると思います。人生の落とし穴にはまり「こんなつもりじゃなかったのに」と思ってしまうことは男女問わずあるし、結局自分の人生は自分で考えて行動しないと開けていかないものだから
この本は芸能ネタは多いし全体的におちゃらけてるし、性的な描写も出てくる。でも、読んでよかったと言える本です
幸福論として、とてもよかった。自分が自分にどう向き合っているか確認するためにも、折に触れ読み返していきたいと思う
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